How Becoming a Mom Changed My Nerdiness

Of course I heard from everyone with an ounce of experience that becoming a mother would change my life. I was prepared for this in most of the big, important ways, but one of the things that’s surprised me is how being a mom has changed my life as a nerd.

First, I obviously don’t have 8+ hours a day to spend writing. That just ain’t gonna fly anymore. I was also never a writer who carried around a notebook – I took notes here and there, but never actually WROTE in a notebook. Now, that’s the easiest and/or only option I have. When you’ve got one arm pinned under a sleeping monster, straining to reach a nearby notebook is a lot easier than trying to escape and get your laptop. (In fact, as I write this – on my laptop – I have to keep distracting little hands from pulling out my power cord. And this post will take me approximately 8 times longer to write because I have to keep tossing her over my shoulder to look out the window at the dog, who I’ve just noticed is eating his poop… BRB.)

I also was never a huge phone app person. I’ve added at least 5 now, all related to being a mom or using baby gear, so in that little way I’m becoming a little more of a techie.

And you better believe I plan to pass along love of my fandoms to the little squirt. We’ve already binged the new She-Ra, and she at least stared at the transformation hair, so that’s a good start. I look forward to first viewings of Star Wars and Dr. Who, first readings of The Chronicles of Narnia, and teaching her to side with me over her dad about Hogwarts houses.

Something I didn’t expect was that, for the first time in my life, I’d be able to easily relate to other women. I grew up on a hunting preserve, writing science fiction – I’m just not wired to connect with most women. But with the shared experiences of childbirth, babies that just will not sleep, the inevitable poop explosions – suddenly I feel LESS like an outsider and more like one of the tribe. By creating a tiny human, I too have a non-nerdy thing to talk about that’s actually relatable.

BUT, at the same time, I’ve found that being a nerd AS a mom is a pretty common thing too. I stumbled upon a couple Facebook groups for nerdy parents, and that’s my new favorite use of any free minutes the mini-tyrant allows me. Nerdy memes related to parenting, nerdy discussions about our favorite nerdy things, and of course occasional parenting questions – it’s all great.

That’s not to say that I don’t miss being a more active part of my other favorite community, my author peeps. To those of you who’ve put up with my endless social media posts of baby pictures, please forgive, as it’s the only way to keep our friends and family up to date who live 2+ hours away. I promise I am reading your books and watching videos and generally lurking as a fan/friend even when I’m too exhausted to comment.

So, until the next time I have a minute free of screamed, nonsensical demands, here’s AI taking in Star Wars the only way she knows how…so far.

February 27, 2019 1

Review of “Hardened Hearts”

I finished this collection the day after Valentine’s Day, which was kind of perfect. These are not your typical love stories, although “love” is the general theme connecting them. I was very impressed with each writer, and I didn’t feel like there was a weak story in the bunch. The writing is solid. The range of genres in the collection is cool, too. Most of these stories are so uniquely weird in their own way, and yet how the stories are organized makes them cohesive, like they naturally belong in the same collection.

A few of my favorites were “Heirloom” , “Dog Tired”, “The Heart of the Orchard,” and “Matchmaker.” Honestly, I liked something about almost every single story. Despite many being short, they packed emotional punches. The immediate weirdness of many drew me in and held my attention.

If you like your love stories a little on the dark side, definitely check out this collection.

See it on Amazon!

February 19, 2018 1

#TopTenTuesday – Summer

I haven’t done a Top Ten Tuesday in a long time. But, seeing as this is the last Tuesday of August and I’ve had a pretty wonderful summer, I thought it time to share my favorite things of Summer 2016. It started out where I was a little stressed, a little restless, and a lot sick of cold, but it’s turned out to be a summer where I’ve truly felt loved and blessed. So here ya go.

Top 10 Favorite Things of Summer 2016:

1. Fourth of July. This is always my favorite holiday, spent with my crazy family at my aunt and uncle’s cottage. This year’s theme for the boat parade was “Anything Goes,” and since my uncle is the Loon Ranger for their lake, this happened. Oh, and one of the flags fell off the back when my aunt wasn’t paying attention, my cousin-in-law started playing “Taps” on his phone as it sank, and I jumped overboard to pluck it from the mucky bottom of the lake. Pretty standard times.

2. This little girl entered our lives! My parents used to raise Weimaraners when I was a kid, but we’d been without one in the family for far too long. Ghost is probably going to be a bit spoiled as a result.

3. My bridal shower. I hate being the center of attention, but that wasn’t a problem considering we had 19 kids staying. My mom’s side of the family hadn’t all been together in like 3 years, so I was happy to be the excuse.

4. I’ve read a lot of amazing books from fellow authors. I also beta read more than I usually do (meaning I read an advanced copy of a book an author is preparing to release into the world), which was a great opportunity. You can see some of these books I’ve read here:

https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/16027170?sort=date_read&view=reviews

5. I moved to a super cool apartment that is slowly but surely getting filled so it’s less echo-y in here.

6. The Fiance and I celebrating knowing each other for 2 years. Honestly the first thing to remind us was Facebook. He was training for an upcoming Ironman all day, I was working, I went to McDonald’s to get us dinner… It was “special” but worth noting.

7. My bridal crew helped me pick out a wedding dress. Now, I’ve had a deal with my mom since I was 7 years old that I would elope. However, since the diva groom wants a wedding, that means I had to find a dress. I didn’t cry when finding the dress, but it meant more to me that these people were there. (Our little Dutch souls did cry at the great deal I got, though.)

8. Reviews from authors I respect. I’ve been slacking on the whole “book promotions” thing, but it’s been wonderful to have occasional kind words come in about my books. It especially means a lot to me when other authors whose work I LOVE have something nice to say. Here’s one:

9. The Haymarsh Benefit Shoot. For almost 2 decades, our family’s hunt club has hosted a benefit shoot for a local facility that helps families with their needs. It’s always a time I use to catch up with my many adopted-uncle-types. It’s also a time when my dad, my brother, and I frantically prep to get things ready. This year was no different, and it’s nice some things never change.

10. I found a quiet peace of heaven. Our apartment doesn’t have a balcony, but there’s this weird private courtyard down the hall that leads to open sun, open air, and astroturf. It’s the quietest place you can imagine while living downtown, and it’s great for relaxing and unwinding…which means reading.

August 30, 2016 0

May – Mental Health Awareness Month

This month, I’m donating all proceeds from my novella, The Poet Heroic, to the Patient Assistance Fund for Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services, which is a local facility that helps people with counseling, detox, etc. Absolutely 100% of this fund goes towards helping people pay for treatments they might not otherwise be able to afford.

Why I’m doing this:
Last Fall, one of my close friends committed suicide. I was writing The Poet Heroic at the time, and I constantly thought of my friend as I wrote because he was a twin and my main character is a twin. This book affected me emotionally in ways I wasn’t expecting as a result. It was only fitting that I dedicated the book:

“In loving memory of Jeff, and for anyone else struggling to find the light.”

No one knew my friend was struggling. As far as we know, he never asked for help. His loss hit us all very hard – for many reasons – but one of the hardest things is that he never asked for help and so we were never able to help him. Many of us were left with this feeling that we just wanted to DO SOMETHING. We wanted others who might be struggling to know it’s okay to ask for help. We wanted others to be able to get help.

So, this is something I can DO. In the few weeks I’ve been working on this month-long event, I’ve heard touching stories from many people who have suffered with depression. I’ve heard touching stories from people who have a loved one struggling with mental health issues. I’ve had many people join me because they too want to DO SOMETHING to help. I’ve been very touched by all of the support and donations, and we’ve got a few weeks to go!!

If you’d like to be part of this event, join us at http://bit.ly/MentalHealthAwarenessEvent

If you’d like to enter a raffle for 50+ ebooks! and help spread the word, enter at https://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/5acd3f201/

If you’d like to add to my donation to the Patient Assistance Fund, (THANK YOU!), see http://bit.ly/ThePoetHeroicBonusGiving

If you’d like to buy a copy of The Poet Heroic and donate that way, go to http://bit.ly/ThePoetHeroicPurchaseDonation

Please, use this month to raise your own awareness, maybe ask for help yourself, and be especially supportive of those struggling with mental health issues.

May 6, 2016 0

A Pause…

I don’t have it in me to write a #TheFourFriday today. Last night, my closest group of friends received the worst possible news you can get about a friend. We sat around for a few hours together, shellshocked, trying to individually and as a group process what it meant that our friend had taken his own life.

I’m a writer. I process by writing my thoughts and feelings down, so bear with me as I get this out. I’ve now had about 12 hours to sort out my reaction. I know the stages of grief, and I don’t know exactly where I’m at, but I know a lot of words that apply to this situation.

Denial. Shock. Confusion. Anger. Guilt. Mourning. Unreal. Sorrow. Regret. Love. Why? Why? Why?

But the thing is, it all boils down to the word… Sad. It is sad that my friend chose to take his life. It is sad that none of us saw this coming. It is sad that we all would have tried to help if we’d known. It is sad that he left people who love him. It is sad he couldn’t find the light. It is sad that he is gone. I am sad that he is gone. We are sad that he is gone.

And I want to say, for anyone struggling with something to the point that it is dragging you into darkness, PLEASE talk. Say something. Ask for guidance. If it gets to the point where you want it to end, make one last effort to reach out and get help. People love you. There is ALWAYS someone who will want to help.

I also want to say that I’m incredibly grateful for the people around me:
The friend whose phone wasn’t working and so drove over to tell me this news in person.
The friends who welcomed everyone into their home late at night to grieve together.
The man I love who was intuitive enough to go get us whiskey and bourbon when tea just wasn’t cutting it.
The parents I informed because I know they care about the people I care about.
The brother I texted because I knew he would know how I was feeling.

God bless, all.

October 9, 2015 3

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