A year ago today, I was in Key West with my boyfriend. By mid evening, in a Key-West-inspired stupor, I mentioned that he didn’t have to do anything for Valentine’s Day for the next 3 years because I appreciated the trip so much. Conveniently for him, this is one of the things I’ve said that he actually remembers.
So here we are a year later, at home, spending Valentine’s Day pretty much the same way we spend every Sunday… Me working in pajamas; him on the bike trainer. We’ll probably lounge around and relax all day, maybe feign some work on wedding planning. Later we’ll attempt to cook a decent meal. We ARE adding the romantic event of changing my car battery at some point, but I expect that to be the highlight of the day.
And all of the above is exactly what I want. Nothing about this relationship has been over-the-top mushy. We’re a little goofy. And it works.
As he wrote for our wedding website:
We first met at a local brewery in Grand Rapids, all thanks to a dare. After that came a year’s worth of movies, board games, hiking adventures, and a few trips to Florida. Finally on a warm November day the question was popped, and in true Sunny and Pat fashion one of us didn’t know that the other was proposing. While far from the storybook romance, it couldn’t be more perfect.
Now, here’s the thing: I was a perfectly happy single person. Granted, a lot of this happiness was because it was a better reaction than horror to the options involved in my love life. But I really was just fine on my own. I’ve always thought that it’s important to be a complete, self-fulfilled, functioning person on your own without trying to make some other person make your life “whole.” Granted, maybe this made me a little picky when it came to choosing anyone to share my life with. But I think it’s better to be alone rather than being with someone just because you feel you HAVE to be with someone.
I’m marrying Pat because he was finally someone who brought more to my life than I’d ever have had on my own. I don’t know if I believe in “The One” because that makes it sound like fate has nothing better to do than limit our love lives to only 1 option. But, I know he is THE person I want to share my life with. He’s unpredictable and possibly more quirky than I am, and the fact that I’m constantly on my toes makes for a fun life. The fact that our “Brangelina” name is “Punny” is all too appropriate, though I try not to focus on the fact that he and my father have the same sense of humor. He can stand up to me, which (let’s be honest) is something I needed in a mate. Best of all, I loved my life before, and Pat fits INTO it without making me feel like I’m settling or changing myself.
I’m so glad I waited until my life was full, THEN accepted the perfect person for me. If Pat hadn’t come along, I’d still be happily single. But he’s the one person who makes me even happier together. I’m glad I took that dare of joining Match.com, and I’m glad he responded to my not-taking-this-seriously message of “The Sting!” in acknowledgment of his favorite listed movie. A year from now, if all goes as planned, I’ll be his wife, and that’s pretty great to think about as I sit here in pajamas finishing work on Valentine’s Day.
Very cool blog post. Sounds like you have the perfect foundation for a love and friendship filled marriage that will stand the test of time! (p.s. Print this blog post out and give to Pat – best present ever!)
Love this post. It is so you and so Pat written perfectly as only you can! Couldn’t be happier for you guys!
This is lovely, Sunshine 🙂 I love that you aren’t together because you NEED each other but because you WANT each other. there’s a big difference 🙂